THE TV PILOTS YOU WANT TO SEE !!

I love television.

But any unique and exciting NEW programs seem to be in rare form this year. So, with my creative juices gushing, I picked up some paint to huff at Ace Hardware and wrote some brand new tv pilots and movies for 2010 !!

Since my creativity quickly hits a wall, I leave the comment space below for YOU DEAR READER to add your own pilot synopsis to the bunch !

By gum, We'll storm Hollywood and demand some quality entertainment !

Gimme your tv pilot ideas below !!

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1)

"REINCARNATED UNDERCOVER"

Its Homeward Bound, meets THE SHIELD...

(I've already copy written this one and its on its way to DISNEY* FAT DISNEY CASH SHUCKAHZ!)

Dennis Miller , Corey Feldman, Natasha Lyonne and Bettie White (Golden Girls)
star as three undercover cops all shot down in the line of duty, when betrayed to coke smugglers from within a corrupt police station in downtown Detroit. But, fate steps in and the three cops are reincarnated as a Dog (Miller), a pig (Feldman), and a cat (Lyonne), and adopted by a senile old woman (Bettie White). Now, with a new "leash" on life, they renew their vow to protect and serve. These three aren't "paw-sing" for a moment, they're here to take a bite out of crime.

2)

SMALL WONDER 3000

( Its Terminator meets Ally McBeal ?)

The year is 2999, in this futuristic legal thriller.
Vicki (the little robot girl from Small Wonder ) is all grown up and now a highly advanced lawyer bot, posing as single human girl about town. The underground sales of state of the art "f*ck-bots" and "Super thinking Vibrators" is on the rise. Vicki is hell bent on finding a decent man in Neo York and taking down abusive machine owners. NOW, Because no one else can....... she fights for machine rights with her robot fists by night and in the courtroom by day in this sassy futuristic legal drama !!

3)

"PSYCHO SCHOOL"

(Its Dangerous Minds meets Silence of the Lambs)


While on the run after escaping a high-security mental hospital, the deranged cannibal psycho killer, James 'the CANNIBAL' Crawford (Steve Buchemi), hides from the authorities in an inner city New York high school. After eating the newest teacher on campus, on the first day of school, James is mistaken for the teacher himself, and soon finds himself teaching the unruly high school slackers a thing or two about life. Every week he inspires them to "murder their insecurities, and devour their shortcomings" Thought provoking, uplifting, heartwarming, and bloodier than Hostel, SAW, and Audition! This show will tug at your heart, than tear it out and eat it with spaghettios.

4)

SIX GHOSTS, TWO CHICKS AND a ABORTION CLINIC

(I have no idea.)

Meet Melissa, she's young, pretty, single and pregnant. Her lover Leeroy, just ran to Philly with his new husband Rupert.

Melissa and her lesbian roommate Sanda (who's semi-secretly in love with her.) are flat broke due to the decline in business. Why? Because Melissa works at a haunted abortion clinic. Six wise cracking aborted baby souls now roam the halls, constantly ruining Melissa's day and her abortion procedures with thier shanangans! Wackiness ensues.

5)

"SPECIAL AGENT DOWNES "


(Its LIFE GOES ON, meets ... 24 )


When Kirby Downes, a mentally retarded man, steps in front of a sniper's bullet. The bullet ricochets off his ginormous melon, saving the President of the United States. With that brave act, Kirby is given a purple heart, and hired to be the Head Chief of the United States Department of Homeland Security.
But, Saving the President was only the beginning. Now Kirby's neck deep in terrorist attacks, assassination attempts, a sexy new partner and learning to change his own diapers.

6)

"PIRATE DICK "

(its umm.... got Pirates? People like Pirates.)


In order to escape a lifetime of eternal torment in hell, 17th century pirate BLACK BEARDED DICK must save one rape victim for every one person he's raped. Left to haunt a Caribbean fortress until the present day, he teams up with a on-the-run Wall Street con artist, his quadrapalegic alcoholic brother on the run from his/their own demons. Together they must use their wits, guile, and a high tech speedboat to save 100 rape victims -and in the process, their very souls !

7)

"Sin-cerely Yours"

(Its Moonlighting meets... Se7en ?)

Tony is a big fan of a girl he met online. Too big of a fan some might say! After stumbling on her entertaining blogs and fubar web page, Tony abducts Jennifer one night, keeping her in his dank basement crawlspace to blog, muse and entertain him forever. But, just like the bonds he's tied from her ankle to a moldy old mattress, the bonds of affection have tightened.

Will the FBI close in on thier budding romance? Will Jennifer fall for him? Can Tony win her heart after tossing her in a van with a sack over her head? Its romanic drama at it best.